Not everyone knows how to become a regular, and I promise it ain’t easy. Here are the steps to make it work.
Find a bar close to your current place of living. I found mine because I was trying to help Austin sell some Aldens and the guy asked me out before he would commit to the GD shoe. I couldn’t put up with the “I fly to Paris twice a week and drink vodka cranberries,” but I could put up with the gig posters, good music, big tvs and cheap beer. Always look for cheap beer.
Start going there for a not so positive reason.All my friends skimped out on my birthday plans last year, so I went out alone. Misery loves company and Bell’s Oberon.
Find your nights.It used to be Mondays to eat cheap food, watch sports and gossip. Then Blackhawks games with the guys. Then regulars night with the girls. Then times I knew no one would be there so I could write and edit. Then to hang out with the beer vendors. Then when ever I damn well felt like it.
Strike up conversations with bartenders and regulars.Those guys know a crazy amount about my life and hear every complaint I have ever had since I started going there.
Make it your haven.Seriously, these places are my getaway from all the crap in the world. with alcohol or without. What that dream island vacation is to you, is just a little oasis between the train station and my house.
Give the staff reasons to take care of you.Offer to pick up the keep’s dinner down the street so they don’t have to pay for delivery. Share a laugh. Occupy an annoying friend for a minute. Humor trying their concoctions. Just plain be nice. Soon enough your tabs shrink, the keep knows you drink one tall boy per hockey period and you have a body guard staff ready to take down every person who breaks your heart.
Always be the good guy.You got a cheap tab? You tip as much as you can ($5 tab should get about a $10 tip). You spilled? Clean it up. Order a shot? Buy one for the bartender. Because there will be that one time (or a hundred times), where you were kinda an asshole and said something wrong to the wrong person and you want to cover your ass for those moments ahead of time. You rather hear, “Yea I understand, sometimes you come here and I can tell your stressed, you gotta let out some steam so you come here,” than, “Seriously though you are a piece of shit, do not come here.”
Hope that helped the inquiring minds. Now feel free to buy your favorite regular a Schlitz.